Okay, I know I said I’d go into my latest writing misadventure this week and I will soon. Probably next week. I would have done so today but, as I was cleaning up bits and pieces, I came across this thing on the left. It still irritates me and I want to share my irritation. Just because I have to tell somebody and you happened to stop by.
Last week, I mentioned Glynn and I had been spending time with some out-of-town visitors. I also said the visitors had been a joy. All of which was absolutely true. However, even the most enjoyable of house guests can be a little trying at times and – as it happened – the Good Witch and I were babysitting when young David turned a little cranky. He had every right to fuss. The three of us had been out-and-about for at least two hours and David was hungry and bored.
Still out in our car, we were miles from home. So I made a suggestion: “Fast food.”
“Genius,” the Good Witch agreed.
Pulling out her cell phone, GW told the navigation app to find us “fast food”. It guided us to a Carl’s Jr., the closest fast food stop to our location. The restaurant lacked a children's’ play area which was far from ideal in our situation. GW and I knew that, once David was full, he’d still be bored as we continued the trip home.
So I made a suggestion: “Kid’s meal. They always come with toys.”
“Genius,” the Good Witch agreed.
Now, if you’re ever in a similar situation and hope to soothe a savage five-year old, there’s something you need to know. When a customer buys a children’s meal at Carl’s Jr., they aren’t given a selection of toys to consider. There’s one option only and you’d best take what you’re given, little miss. It doesn’t matter if, like David, you’d hoped to get a squeezable dinosaur or something...y’know, fun...because that’s not gonna happen.
What David received during our visit was a key ring of “Fruit Ninja” cards. Look at the picture above and you’ll see what the object looks like. It is a rare child that wants to play with this. I’d venture to say, it’s the exceedingly rare child that even cares to look at it twice. (You’ve looked at the picture once. Care to see it again?)
On each card, there is a question, there is a hint, and there is an the answer. It goes something like –
WHAT IS THE LARGEST KNOWN SEED IN THE WORLD? (Hint: It’s hard to open) Answer: Coconuts
WHAT FRUIT WILL CLEAN YOUR TEETH AND STRENGTHEN YOUR GUMS? (Hint: They’re crunchy) Answer: Apples.
HOW MANY SEEDS DOES THE AVERAGE STRAWBERRY HAVE? (Hint: Over 100) Answer: 200
In case you’re thinking, Well, Anne must have picked out the most boring question/hint/answer combinations she could find, you’d be wrong. I asked Glynn to flip through the cards and pick three of them at random. This triplet is as interesting as any in the bunch.
Back at the restaurant, I asked the cashier who was the target audience for the key ring. Straight-faced, she told me, “It’s for children over three” and the staff at the restaurant seems to believe this. If they ever have cause to doubt it, they can find this same information printed on one of the Ninja Fruit cards. Seriously.
Carl and all of his juniors must not want children in their stores. If they could have seen David’s face when he opened the little bag, they’d have known this wasn’t for kids. They’d have seen it for what it was: a fairly lousy advertisement for some other company’s computer app. Not a toy.
“As soon as we find a Target, I am so going to get him a squishy dinosaur,” the Good Witch told me.
“Genius,” I agreed.
Last week, I mentioned Glynn and I had been spending time with some out-of-town visitors. I also said the visitors had been a joy. All of which was absolutely true. However, even the most enjoyable of house guests can be a little trying at times and – as it happened – the Good Witch and I were babysitting when young David turned a little cranky. He had every right to fuss. The three of us had been out-and-about for at least two hours and David was hungry and bored.
Still out in our car, we were miles from home. So I made a suggestion: “Fast food.”
“Genius,” the Good Witch agreed.
Pulling out her cell phone, GW told the navigation app to find us “fast food”. It guided us to a Carl’s Jr., the closest fast food stop to our location. The restaurant lacked a children's’ play area which was far from ideal in our situation. GW and I knew that, once David was full, he’d still be bored as we continued the trip home.
So I made a suggestion: “Kid’s meal. They always come with toys.”
“Genius,” the Good Witch agreed.
Now, if you’re ever in a similar situation and hope to soothe a savage five-year old, there’s something you need to know. When a customer buys a children’s meal at Carl’s Jr., they aren’t given a selection of toys to consider. There’s one option only and you’d best take what you’re given, little miss. It doesn’t matter if, like David, you’d hoped to get a squeezable dinosaur or something...y’know, fun...because that’s not gonna happen.
What David received during our visit was a key ring of “Fruit Ninja” cards. Look at the picture above and you’ll see what the object looks like. It is a rare child that wants to play with this. I’d venture to say, it’s the exceedingly rare child that even cares to look at it twice. (You’ve looked at the picture once. Care to see it again?)
On each card, there is a question, there is a hint, and there is an the answer. It goes something like –
WHAT IS THE LARGEST KNOWN SEED IN THE WORLD? (Hint: It’s hard to open) Answer: Coconuts
WHAT FRUIT WILL CLEAN YOUR TEETH AND STRENGTHEN YOUR GUMS? (Hint: They’re crunchy) Answer: Apples.
HOW MANY SEEDS DOES THE AVERAGE STRAWBERRY HAVE? (Hint: Over 100) Answer: 200
In case you’re thinking, Well, Anne must have picked out the most boring question/hint/answer combinations she could find, you’d be wrong. I asked Glynn to flip through the cards and pick three of them at random. This triplet is as interesting as any in the bunch.
Back at the restaurant, I asked the cashier who was the target audience for the key ring. Straight-faced, she told me, “It’s for children over three” and the staff at the restaurant seems to believe this. If they ever have cause to doubt it, they can find this same information printed on one of the Ninja Fruit cards. Seriously.
Carl and all of his juniors must not want children in their stores. If they could have seen David’s face when he opened the little bag, they’d have known this wasn’t for kids. They’d have seen it for what it was: a fairly lousy advertisement for some other company’s computer app. Not a toy.
“As soon as we find a Target, I am so going to get him a squishy dinosaur,” the Good Witch told me.
“Genius,” I agreed.
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